Missing you

I am so very blessed to be surrounded by amazing people. My life has been full of love, caring and friendship. The only problem with some of my closest relationships is that the individual on the other end is many miles away. Today as I sit at my computer my mind can't help but wander to the incredible moments and times I have shared with those closest to me. We have been together for much of our true growing up periods. I have been witness to beautiful unions in marriage and times of true heartbreak.

I love all that I have dearly. I love where I live, whom I'm married to, my children and my life in general. From time to time my mind wanders the other roads that could have been. I wonder if I could have been closer to my dearest friends or if geographic closeness only would have pushed our relationships apart? I marvel at the fact that often despite so much passing of times these friendships seem to come right into stride.

I am looking forward to what changes the future brings and also longing for the comfort that routine provides. I would like to write more but the baby is crying. I guess that the point of my ramblings is to tell those friends, thank-you, I miss you and most of all I love you.

Thankful for my blessings

I have started this entry three times already, this is the fourth. I don't know how to express in words the emotions that I am feeling right now. In so many ways I feel like I cannot and never will be worthy of all of the blessings that I have received. In the same breath I feel that just by writing those words perhaps I am just baiting some unfortunate events. And then in the next heartbeat I know that holds no real truth.
My husband came home from work today, no big surprise but a blessing all the same. He tried his best to help me with the supper, the laundry and bath time. He failed miserably but I still cannot believe the blessing that he has been to me and the girls. He is the hardest worker, a devoted husband and an AMAZING father to our daughters. My heart flips over every time he walks though the front door and I see the excitement in Kamryn's eyes as she runs to greet him.
My girls are growing, can I slow that down? It has been such a short time and yet I feel like I need the clock to slow down. The marks on the wall go up and it is yet another reminder of the passage of time.
I watched Mckinna share her snow globe at pre-school today and could hardly believe my first baby is in pre-school. Kamryn is talking, although it is those funny sentences that seem to only include the truly important words. She runs to catch up as she yells "wait, me" and I find myself feeling as if I am in one of those moments that I need to capture and cling to. Charlee, my dear sweet baby is growing bigger and stronger each day and I can tell it won't be long till she is sitting on her own.
I feel that undeniable urge as a mother to not only do everything right for my children and husband but also to protect them from all harm. I know rationally of course that this is an impossibility and that the hurt, pain and sorrow will come but I also treasure all the joy, laughter, hope and light that my family brings. It is amazing that your heart can hurt from the emotions that well within it.
I have a love hate relationship with facebook but I recently read the most saddening news. A "friend" of mine who was a mere two weeks from her scheduled c-section lost her beloved third son. My heart is broken for her. It brings forth the fear and reality that as quickly as something is given it can also be taken away. It makes me want to hang on to everything I hold dear a little tighter and yet I know that my every effort is not enough. Some things are FAR beyond our control.
And so tonight I will kiss my girls and my husband. I will pray for those who hurt and those who morn. I will thank the good Lord for the blessings that he has and continues to pour into my life and I will look forward to the blessings of the future.

Drinking from my saucer

I hate writing. I have hated it since I was a young girl but in one of my deep thinking moments I realized that in the unlikely event that something was to happen to me I would want those that were the closest to me to know that my life no matter how long or short was AMAZINGLY full. I am also certain that after much reading and pondering that it is important for my girls to be able to read about whateven I may choose to write about. I think that I read somewhere (on Leslies blog) that you can turn your blog into a book and so perhaps one day I will gift them a book of my ramblings to really torture them....I know that I am not nor ever will be great with words or with grammar but I guess that I will just have to make due with what I little writing ability I do have.
I chose the title Drinking from My Saucer because I recently recieved an e-mail with this poem attached and the words could not be more true

I've never made a fortune,

It's probably too late now.

Oh, but I don't worry about that much

Cause I'm happy anyhow.

As I go along life's journey,

I'm reaping better then I sowed.

I'm drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

Ain't got a lot of riches,

Sometimes the going's rough.

But I've got a friend in Jesus,

And that makes me rich enough.

I thanks God for all His blessings on me,

And the mercy that He's bestowed.

I'm drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

Oh sure, I've been through some storms,

And yes, I'm sure there were times when my,

Well, my faith must have got a little thin,

But you know what it seemed like?

One day all at once, those dark clouds broke,

And that old sun, she started shinin' again.

So Lord, help me not to grumble and complain,

About the tough rows I have hoed.

I'm drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

And if I should go on living,

If the way gets steep and rough.

I won't ask for other Blessings,

'Cause I'm already blessed enough.

May I never be too busy,

To help another bear his load.

And I'll keep drinking from my saucer, Lord,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

Yes, I'll keep drinkin' from my saucer Lord,

'Cause my cup has over flowed

Michael Combs