Thankful for my blessings

I have started this entry three times already, this is the fourth. I don't know how to express in words the emotions that I am feeling right now. In so many ways I feel like I cannot and never will be worthy of all of the blessings that I have received. In the same breath I feel that just by writing those words perhaps I am just baiting some unfortunate events. And then in the next heartbeat I know that holds no real truth.
My husband came home from work today, no big surprise but a blessing all the same. He tried his best to help me with the supper, the laundry and bath time. He failed miserably but I still cannot believe the blessing that he has been to me and the girls. He is the hardest worker, a devoted husband and an AMAZING father to our daughters. My heart flips over every time he walks though the front door and I see the excitement in Kamryn's eyes as she runs to greet him.
My girls are growing, can I slow that down? It has been such a short time and yet I feel like I need the clock to slow down. The marks on the wall go up and it is yet another reminder of the passage of time.
I watched Mckinna share her snow globe at pre-school today and could hardly believe my first baby is in pre-school. Kamryn is talking, although it is those funny sentences that seem to only include the truly important words. She runs to catch up as she yells "wait, me" and I find myself feeling as if I am in one of those moments that I need to capture and cling to. Charlee, my dear sweet baby is growing bigger and stronger each day and I can tell it won't be long till she is sitting on her own.
I feel that undeniable urge as a mother to not only do everything right for my children and husband but also to protect them from all harm. I know rationally of course that this is an impossibility and that the hurt, pain and sorrow will come but I also treasure all the joy, laughter, hope and light that my family brings. It is amazing that your heart can hurt from the emotions that well within it.
I have a love hate relationship with facebook but I recently read the most saddening news. A "friend" of mine who was a mere two weeks from her scheduled c-section lost her beloved third son. My heart is broken for her. It brings forth the fear and reality that as quickly as something is given it can also be taken away. It makes me want to hang on to everything I hold dear a little tighter and yet I know that my every effort is not enough. Some things are FAR beyond our control.
And so tonight I will kiss my girls and my husband. I will pray for those who hurt and those who morn. I will thank the good Lord for the blessings that he has and continues to pour into my life and I will look forward to the blessings of the future.